#Just in general. He deserved better
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elodieunderglass · 3 months ago
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(Killie the jockey OC and his coworkers)
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(Killie is absurdly strong! but also - this is important, listen up, Rossa - the instructions are written on the cap)
(As a dual champion flat and jump jockey, Killie is capable of opening jars and also immune to the lure of the single grape)
#Killie#jockeyposting 🏇#pippa knows his first name of course. they actually dated for a bit. it wasn’t super successful and it was making their parents#way too happy.#and apart from the job and the horse obsessions and sharing the same shoe size they didn’t have much to say to each other.#well. Killie doesn’t say much generally. but they both deserved better. and the forward momentum was definitely pushing them rapidly towards#Marriage and Kids (two to four exquisitely tiny jockey babies)#Killie thinks Pippa’s probably mad at him for the breakup#but actually she has a lot of respect and affection for him which is good because he broke up with her by going#HI. CAN WE BREAK UP PLEASE. and she asked why and he just 😟 at her with absolutely no answer at all while she got stressed#and then recalibrated to Planet Killie and asked Do You Want To Break Up Killie? and he said YES in tremendous relief#Any Particular Reason Killie? NO#SORRY#Don’t Worry About It. Thank You For Telling Me.#in another world Cillian and Philippa have a princess/knight dynamic but the roles of who is princess and who is knight#are extremely unclear. also both of them are the horse.#Pippa is annoyed by the Pip nickname but Rossa (Irish pronunciation a bit like ROE-sha) prefers Ross as a nickname because it’s less rosy#and while its traditional for male jockeys to have diminutive names like Ruby and Franny and so on#Rossa feels he has troubles enough.#maybe when he’s a champion.#Rossa and Pippa are hurtling towards dating and both are annoyed by this.#and both of them like Killie a lot#and Killie suspects they are hunting him for sport 😌#other details: Pippa and Rossa are wearing the large unisex colours that are kept for whatever jockey is riding for whatever owner#while Rossa is tall he’s narrow and Pippa is a small woman so the unisex one-size-fits-all silks are a bit big on them and are tucked in#and have hair elastics at the wrists to stop them being#too baggy and Pippa’s folded the sleeves back before securing them. but Killie#as we know is the prince of a rotten little dynasty and special pet of a mad billionaire owner#and he belongs to that stable and has his own silks which fit him. god bless.
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wilting-fl0wer · 3 months ago
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The only correct form of caltam, as far as i am concerned
#tw: opinions#at times whenever the topic of caltam comes up i am left wondering if i played the same game as others#i don't think enough ppl dig in to Cal's and Tammy's characters to realize just how horribly uncompatible they are as a couple#“they're perfect for each other”#bitch where#if their relationship wouldn't be so unwritten they would be having screaming matches from 15 onwards#Tammy is married to a fairytale view of love and princesses and princes and if you looked for atleast a minute at Cal's character you'd#realize he's NOT that type of person#they bud heads on a lot of significant things that play a major role to their characters such as Tammy's protectiveness over the creche kid#and her future family and desire to be protected and stood up for and Cal unyileding view of radical pacifism and hypocritism#i am not trying to be funny when i say i could seriously write a whole ass 10+ page essay on why they're not good for each other#ppl don't realize they look at each other through rose-colored glasses and that they like the IDEA of each other not the actual them#bc of how they grew up and used to see each other. But theyre just another example of how the adults failed their generation#Tammy deserves better than Cal and i am saying this as Cal's number 1 fan please free my girl from the shackles of hypocritical men#she should go make out with Nemmie instead that would do her some good since Nem actually protects her loved ones#i think if i WERE to like caltam is if they were radioactive toxic to one another#anyways i think the solution to caltam is a horrible teen divorce bonus points if cal has an ego death then they stick to being besties#y'all have no idea how good it feels to rant abt these two LMAO#i've been saying this and i'll continue to be saying this Cal and Tammy are better as friends no you cannot change my mind#theres so much more wrong with them but if id list everything we'd be here till next week#i was a teenage exocolonist#iwatex#exocolonist#meme#my meme#been dealing with a nasty sinus infection and a cold that just won't go away for the past 2 weeks but art is still gretting worked on#prolly posting some art in a few hours
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mysticalcats · 1 year ago
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once again spreading my alonzostrap propaganda
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theswedishpajas · 10 months ago
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I don’t think I ever posted this but he’s here now about a week late 🦇✨✨✨
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gloriousburden · 1 year ago
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i think they should make a movie where the writers actually like thor and loki
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saturdaymorningcartoonz · 10 days ago
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Btw im like full on blocking people who defend the live action Lilo and stitch lol
#I WILL DELETE THIS LATER BC IM DRUNK LOL#but like godddd anyone who defends nani literally giving lilo up to to the state is missing the fucking point#and is also probably white ITS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT LIVING YOUR DREAMS#i bet u hated encanto too like jesus christ#SHES 19 ITS UNREALISTIC AND UNFAIR TO HER UHH. YEAH DUH HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A TEEN MOM............#like its literally the point oh my godddddd AND THE NEW ENDING AND EVERYTHING STRIPS AWAY THE COLONALISM/TOURISM MESSAGE LIKE......#obviously nani deserves a happy ending but guess what. in the og movie SHE GETS THAT. SHE DOES GET A HAPPY ENDING#WITHOUT GOING TO COLLEGE AND WITH OUT A PORTAL GUN#LIKE I KNOW THE MOVIE HAS ALIENS IN IT BUT THE PORTAL GUN IS SUCH A DUMB JUSTIFICATION BC ITS LIKE.....#if LA nani was struggling so mucj she could have give lilo to her neighbor in the first place that shes so close w#in the og SHE WAS ALONE AND HAD NO ONE TO LEAN ON and pushed david away bc she saw that as selfish#and SHE. WAS THE ONLY ONR WHO UNDERSTOOD LILO IF SHE WAS W ANYONE ELSE THEY WOULDNT UNDERSTAND HER#AND THE LA MOVIE STRIPPED LILO OF HER WEIRDNESS SO IT LIKE JUST ALL FALLS APART#like ohhhh. my god#il drink and tis is apst hyperfixarion fro me so im very passionate abt it#but u have to he so dumb. to defend the new movie like. i csnt even fsthom#like im so baffled at the overall letterboxed rating. cmon guys i thought we were better than this#I KNOW THIS MIGHT SOUND EXTREME LIKE NORMALLY I WOJLDNT SAY THIS ABOUT MOVIE OPINIONS BUT LIKE.....#if u think a version of a movie that removes its colonialism/tourism message. has an actress do brownface. sanitizises the hardships native#hawaiians face daily AND LIKE GENERALLY TEENAGERS WHO HAVE TO GROW UP TOO FAST. and removes any queer and neurodivergent subtext is anywher#near as good as the original movie. uhh then. youre wrong and probably have other bad opinions about either POC neurodivergent people queer#people or more than one or all of the above#and i dont wanna be around ppl who think like that
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eluminium · 2 years ago
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an unfriendly reminder that the name "Skranchers" for the Skizz, Tango, and Jimmy trio is actually an awful fucking name! And maybe we should come up with something original instead of gluing Skizz's name onto the Ranchers name like he's just an afterthought! Calling it "Skranchers" doesn't fix the problem of people throwing Skizz out of his own series that he started with Tango! We could call them, idk, Crazy Chefs? Plate Up Pals? Goodfellas as a reference to the mafia "Jimmy Jiggles" jokes and how restaurants can be fronts for mob activity? the classic STJ, or TSJ, or JST, or whatever combo similar to ZITS, TIES, and JITS? JUST. SOMETHING. THAT ISN'T. SKRANCHERS. WHAT THE FUCKING IS A SKRANCHERS.
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lord-squiggletits · 5 months ago
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Honestly it annoys me that pride, ambition, and generally having a big ego are always villainous/evil-coded personality traits because personally I think if you genuinely are a prodigy at what you do you are 100% within your rights, perhaps even deserving, of flaunting your skills and being proud of the fact you can do something that only a small fraction of other people can do. Is it even ego at that point if you genuinely are as good at your field/skill as you say you are? Are people not aware that becoming a prodigy at something is something that takes lifelong sacrifice and practice sometimes to the point of giving up on having a normal life, relationships, etc even potentially destroying your own health???? God I fucking hate how pride in your own skills and ambition are so villain coded all the time. As if it's evil to want to be good at something and be recognized for what you rightfully earned
#squiggposting#this is part of why i like pharma obviously lol but it's happened to me w#other blorbos ive had in the past#bc like full offense if you're capable of doing something like partially inventing the cures to 5 different terminal diseases#in only a few months/a year of research. or if you can do an organ donation and replacement surgery#with yourself as one of the donors. you literally ARE the best doctor who has ever lived#and you DESERVE to flaunt it bc. what fucking achievement is higher than that???#some feats demand recognition in my opinion. maybe it's just bc I've always been competitive#and from a young age enjoyed a (relative) degree of fame for being really good at certain things#ive always enjoyed being an object of awe bc bitch i spent my whole life working to be this good#do i hold it over ppl or treat them badly for not being as good as me? i admit i used to but i grew out of it#but the ego? certainly not. i think if you're good at something you should own it#i think if you're a prodigy and put your skills into doing good work youve earned your fame and recognition#this expectation of false humility we have is sooooo annoying#ohhhh boo hoo pharma is a little bit of an annoying asshole about being a better doctor than ratchet#the cures he helped design will save literal thousands of lives from now until the rest of time#but somehow the way he FEELS about it is more important than the CONCRETE POSITIVE GAIN he put into the universe?#and also in general i hate it when ppl assume that pride/ego and being kind towards others are mutually exclusive#in general i feel like i could write an essay about how self vs others is treated as a dichotomy#where it's assumed that in order to uplift others you have to self efface and diminish yourself#or if you flaunt yourself it automatically means you're putting down others. it's not true.#video essay topic for later lol
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peck2neck · 1 year ago
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YES i miss him NO i am not normal about it
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marchofthewitchhunters · 6 months ago
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if boqtok has a million haters, then i am one of them. if boqtok has ten haters, then i am one of them. if boqtok has only one hater then that is me. if boqtok has no haters, then that means i am no longer on earth. if the world loves boqtok, then i am against the world.
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pyrosomatic-metamorphosis · 2 years ago
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HUGE probs to cc!forever btw i thought he added the furniture thing as a joke option to like- legitimately get under q!bad's skin to give cc!bad an excuse to give his cubito more problems. but no apparently his chat were just instigators and made that suggestion to him 😭
i'm so impressed by how he got blindsided by a Full Lore Mode angry q!bad and kept his cool, and worked to communicate, and admitted when qbad had a good idea about the voting (qbad could NEVER), and went and got Cellbit when he realized the language barrier was too much. absolute king shit over there. like here he is trying to legit make the server better on a meta level and gets blindsided by q!bad's lore problems and he rolled with it so so well. he's doing legit such a good job for the server
and this is like- me being a bad fan, and i know it was an accident, but im very grateful to him for how that shook out. every time bad starts to get a little lore moment or something dramatic for his storyline, it fizzles out or gets overtaken by something else. cc!bad has been doing a great job with his storytelling/roleplaying and building up a narrative of feeling unappreciated/like a helping object instead of a person (and i could GUSH about the parallels between qbad and qforever and how they recognized those feelings in each other) but!! the point is that cc!forever did it. even accidentally. he created a catalyst event that could finally get my favourite little cubito off of his rocker (FINALLY), and bad is a good person to get off of his rocker. this is going to be a gorgeous little storyline that i am going to enjoy so so much. forever wanted to do good for the server and the story and by god he has done it
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phoenixcatch7 · 11 months ago
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Just finished oracle of ages!!! Good game, good game. I have Thoughts.
I actually really enjoyed the story and characters! I figured going into the oracle games that it'd be a simple, cliché story, not much nuance or depth, and with Seasons that's basically what I got: din gets fridged in a crystal at the start of the game -> go get her -> you need a set of maguffins to do so -> fight big monster.
Admittedly it was the first game, which meant less story, but even if I hadn't linked (heh) the games for extra end game content Ages just did so much more.
Unlike din, naryu has someone else willing to help her. Ralph (the twinkiest twink to ever twink) was a young man who was her devoted friend (there was a weird crush triangle thing going on with him, Link and naryu, I always felt like I was missing subtext) and, spoilers for a 20yo game?? I guess?
He was the dethroned descendant of the ancient queen Ami. His family definitely still have big money though. He was pretty clearly supposed to be a comic relief character with a twist, but I ended up really liking him! He was over enthusiastic and over confident, but not unintelligent, a decent swordsman (I think) who was incredibly loyal to his friends and held some deep rooted responsibility for the people his family used to rule. Kind, determined, good with kids and people in general, he was terrified but willing to sacrifice his very existence to save the people.
The world building was also great! I don't think I've ever played a zelda game without gorons, but hylians were in short supply. To be expected outside of hyrule, I guess? Anyway, there were also lizard people on an island (tokay!) whose entire deal was.. A bit outdated? Rude, brazen and aggressive to outsiders, they lived in crude huts, worshipped things they didn't quite understand and were generally the old Hollywood stereotype of an isolated jungle tribe.
There was also, like, zora racism? There's a zora village underwater, and one of them was like 'us sea zora are nothing like those river zora 😒' which handily solved both my question of if the river/ocean zora divide was canon or fanon and the relationships between the two. Are they even the same species?? It just makes the rito even weirder but hey lmao. In all honesty I was pretty sick of the river zora at that point too, I swear there were two of them popping up in every screen that had even a sliver of water deeper than the knees and they CONSTANTLY shot fireballs istg they were such a pain. They were literally everywhere and so hard to kill.
On the plus side mermaid suit ^u^!! A dungeon item (the mermaids cave), the item had a desc like 'the skin of the mythical beast' which raised SO many more questions than it answered. The zora were delighted to see a young mermaid! The use of 'maid' implied either a) the zora all thought link was a girl and he didn't correct them (eyo genderqueer androgeny) b) the zora don't subscribe to gender the way humans do (eyo genderqueer androgeny) or c) all fish people look like mermaids regardless of their specific gender (eyo genderqueer androgeny). It literally could have been all three who knows. Maybe one day we'll actually meet a mermaid in zelda.
Also, there's a mini game in Seasons, which I played first, the subrosian dance. It's a pretty popular part of their culture, it's got music, it's got professional dancers. In Ages, you find the gorons doing the exact same dance! Rosa, a subrosian performer you meet in Seasons, is also there, saying her people's dance is better (tbf it is), but if you go to the past you'll find the gorons actually invented the dance first, as part of their love of games and entertainment, and you can talk to two subrosians who are talking about bringing the dance home! It's so interesting to see little details like this, where the travelling subrosians visited their fellow cave dweller lava eating people centuries ago, brought it back home where it exploded in popularity and centuries later became refined as a whole folk dance with spinning and everything, with the people forgetting where it came from, where the gorons keep their dance exactly the same (having to do a rhythm game without rhythm is hard).
Actually, there was so much political fantasy drama going on in the past?? Like, you've got the childless queen taking care of her people, a budding village and a few more settlements across the kingdom. Early in her reign she tried to build a tower to act as a beacon to her fiancé lost at sea, which is a romance story all on its own, but it was cut short (maybe because of funding?). Centuries in the future, it's just ruins. You've got people living on an ACTIVE VOLCANO starting a symmetry cult around a artifact called 'tuni nut' which, presumably, stabilises the volcano? And it's entirely cut off from the outside world. The goron elder is crushed under rocks and their economy is failing. The zora king got poisoned and he's about to die without an heir because a witch turned the fairy queen into an octorock, but the man in charge of the only cure refuses to hand it over until someone passes his tests.
Most of it is solved relatively easily by link and a copious amount of time travel, but the thing with the ruling queen only gets worse. When the evil witch invades the kingdom, she possesses the oracle of ages, naryu (who's a little implied to be the Actual Creation Goddess Naryu reincarnated) and travels back to the past to bring about an age of despair in the present. She does this by slipping into the royal court and befriending the queen as a serving girl, rising up the ranks to become her closest advisor and corrupting her (pretty sure mind control magic is used a li'l). She convinces her to restart the black tower project, pouring all of her and the towns resources into it - forcibly conscripting every able bodied worker and working them to the bone, all while monsters start to circle the tower. With all the fear and resentment, it quickly becomes a beacon of dark energy, a perfect focal point to perform black magics.
Link (and Ralph) end up in the past and get hauled in front of the queen, with possessed naryu at her side, who basically jeers at them and ensures the queen won't listen to their untrustworthy lies. The townsfolk are getting increasingly stressed as their village fills with rubble and their men are worked to the point of collapse. Armed guards start to appear to keep the workers under control. Eventually, Ralph uncovers a hole in the guard rotation, and he and link sneak into the palace through a secret entrance Ralph oh so casually knows about. Link and naryu fight, but with stupendous timing the queen walks in to see naryu collapsed on the floor, Link standing over her with a sword. She calls for the guards, but before anyone can react, the witch, banished form her first vessel, leaps into the queen herself instead. Ralph shoves past the arriving guards and into naryus arms, while link moves in from of them. The queen orders the guards to attack, but naryu, reawakened, pulls them back to the present in the nick of time. In the present, the black tower is magically growing, reaching higher and higher into the sky, terrifying the people of the city.
Then! Ralph, who at this point is suspiciously invested now his actual goal is completed and naryu is safe, vows to go back into time again, away from naryu, to live under the now evil queen and bring protection and comfort to the villagers as a direct act of resistance, because the witch is feeding on their sorrow to power an unknown ritual (link knows. Link, canonically, has told nobody). So this teen in fancy robes and cape goes back to the oppressed, poverty stricken town under the thumb if someone who wants him dead and lives there for weeks if not months dedicating himself to supporting the village and bringing people's hopes and spirits back up, presumably while living out of someone else's wooden hut. In the middle of a literal depression inducing miasma that's sapping everyone's joy and will to live.
That just. Takes insane strength of character. That's a feat of pure, distilled, compassion as anarchy.
Link's off bouncing between past and present doing dungeons and solving easier issues through either sword or magic item, but Ralph is out here doing the long hard slog for little reward.
Link finally returns to the black tower completed, affecting even the people of the present, and, preparations complete, rushes to the past. Ralph is nowhere be seen. Talking to the villagers reveals several have a crush on him, but an old man saw him running for the tower, sword drawn. There's a man pacing by the entrance, who saw the kid run in, tried to stop him. He said Ralph said that he no longer cared what happened to him. That the man realised that Ralph had quietly succumbed to the same curse of despair they all were under. Link fights his way up to the top of the tower, where Ralph confronts the evil queen, sword at her heart, but every step she takes into it, he steps back. The witch laughs. She asks him if he's really willing to write himself out of existence - being the queens descendant, and all. Ralph leaps back, into links chest. He's shaking and stuttering, but he lunges, and is knocked out in one blow. The queen now asks link the same question: is he willing to erase Ralph? If he strikes her, kills her, the queen will die, childless, and he will never live. She leaves, and link rushes to Ralph. He's awake but unresponsive, defeated. With a heavy heart, Link leaves him to chase the queen. It's naryu who finds him, brings him out of the tower.
When the witch is defeated, the curse is lifted, and Ralph is once more energetic and kind. He's a little quieter now, though, sticking close to naryu. For all he was a loud and headstrong kid, I gotta say I was very impressed.
He would have made a good king.
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dirtychainsawconfessions · 1 year ago
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Jackson's whole world view would've changed if he had just gotten the slightest bit of pussy
or dick we don't discriminate here
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chelsiegeorgia · 9 months ago
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I may actually never forgive sega if they give a level based on the movie to shadow and don't give one to Sonic 😩 Like wtf 💀
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mayo-productions · 2 months ago
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good evening tumblr (it's literally midnight..)
I'm back in the Miguel trenches and I just saw this and I just about fell to the floor in tears because this is literally what's gonna happen to Mateo..
(incoming nonsense rant in tags, sighh)
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#obvi yeah Miguel would not in general BUT Im crazy and am gonna make this about the Arachnopi family#like even after Mateo helps Arachnopi with their funky situationship they still aren't end game#they will all one day go back to their respective dimensions. no mater how much Mateo literally BEGS them to stay together#he finally had his “parents” for a little over a year. you really think he'd be willing to let that go?#obvi not. and it consumes him. pain that could've easily been preventable if he just kept himself out if their business in the first place#He feels their presence missing for the rest of his life#and knowing it could all be prevented gives him a new life mission#To make sure no other dumb kid goes down the same path of dumb decisions he did.#He basically becomes a Miguel 2.0 who specializes in stopping young spider people for dimension hopping for personal relationships#He’d thankfully never meet another May/Miguel variant#but he will get comments from younger spiders who know Miguel that they see the resemblance#Especially since he’d constantly overwork himself which makes him look older then he is even when he’s only in his 20s#And like I said earlier Miguel would be devastated to see Mateo like this#ESPECIALLY if he’s older and goes through his inevitable btsv character development#he’d see so much if his Atsv version of himself in Mateo. But he wouldn’t dare visit him after all those years#And if he did he’d better be ready for a fight. Mateo would not take seeing him again years later lightly#Then there’s May. Oh my goodness May Octavius..sighh#Mentally May is very weak. She doesn’t fight against anything that happens to herself or others. Very much “it is what it is” mentality#She uses it as an excuse at times. Especially canon events.#She’d see Mateo’s future as a canon event. Something unpreventable and unchangeable. He’s stuck to that fate forever#Like how she is as Doc Ock. So she’d literally just shrug it off with no sympathy for him. That’s just how life is.#(her maternal instincts are basically non existent. She was never ment to be a “mother” lol)#(She literally sucks. Boooo May Octavius 🍅🍅 /hj /lh)#Anyways goodness me I’m willing to bet that all makes zero sense and no one cares but UGHH that pic sent me into a spiral..#spiderverse Mateo you mean so much to me and you don’t deserve any of this wahhhh </3 (as if I’m not the one writing his lore lol)#Double anyways LF Mateo literally living his best life in an au lol. Silly guy. I like bullying him out of love :)#I promise guys you’ll all one day understand what LF means and what Mateo is doing there but that day is not today lol#for now I’m gonna hit the hay#who let me rant at 12am about a stupid ocxcanon ship no one cares about? /lh#mayo mumbles
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mkstrigidae · 1 year ago
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APWH preview snippet!
Since I'm actively trying to work on getting the next few chapters out, I thought I'd share a little future scene with some hints of Jonsa with all you lovely people! This bit is from like, a few chapters in the future bc it's the in-between that's giving me fits right now :) (Fair warning: this is unedited and subject to change! That being said, it's such a fun scene that I can't imagine ever nixing it :D)
“Does he even know that they have to avoid the press?”
“For the last time-“ Sam sighed, sounding completely exasperated, “Dickon knows what they can and can’t do- he’s got enough practice not being photographed from when our dad was the secretary. Not to mention spending time around you when that exposé on your crazy grandfather came out two years ago.”
“I just-“ Jon sighed, blowing a stray curl out of his face. “You didn’t see how freaked out she was when the press caught us at that performance in White Harbor. I thought she was going to have a full-blown panic attack.”
He was immediately derailed by Gilly plopping little Sam down in his lap and shoving a bottle into his hands.
“What’s this all about?” he raised a brow, adjusting the baby on his lap, allowing him to latch onto the cuff of his flannel shirt and start gnawing at the fabric. “You going somewhere?”
Gilly shot him a withering look, but he saw the amusement in her eyes.
“I-“ she gestured, imperiously, “Have not had time by myself to shower all week-“
“Sorry, love.” Sam winced, looking up from his pile of paperwork. “I can take a break from these-“
“Not your fault, Sam.” she waved him off. “You warned me about this conference at the beginning of the summer.” a grin played at the corners of her mouth. “Besides, it works out well- Jon needs a distraction right now from the fact that Sansa’s on a date with your extremely hot and conventionally attractive brother.”
“Hey!” Sam looked wounded, and Gilly rolled her eyes, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
“You know you’re my favorite Tarly.” she wrinkled her nose. “How long have you been working on this presentation? You smell like the baby spit up on you.”
“Guess I’m next in line for showers.” Sam said, mournfully. “Unless-“
“Nope- I need my own time right now, Samwell. Did you even hear what I said about why Jon’s bent out of shape?”
Jon had known Gilly since Sam and she had met up north while the two of them were in college. Sometimes, it was hard to reconcile the timid, scared girl she had been with the woman who was currently devoting all of her remaining energy to busting his balls.
“Don’t tell me you’re worried about Sansa with my brother.” Sam snorted, shotgunning another cup of coffee next to him the way Jon was used to seeing undergrads do with jaeger shots. “I mean, this is Dickon we’re talking about. Used to bring wounded animals home to take care of them Dickon? The same guy who cried when we had movie night and Gilly and Rhae wanted to go see ‘Love, Simon’?” He shook his head. “Look, as far as guys she could be out on a date with right now go, Dickon’s kind of the best case scenario. She’ll have a nice time, and he’ll be a perfect gentleman.”
Jon blinked at him, silently turning to look up at Gilly, who rolled her eyes and sighed.
“You’re hopeless, sweetie.” she kissed him on the forehead again, wrinkling her nose. “He’s not worried that things will go wrong- he’s worried they’ll go a little too well.”
“You’ve been spending way too much time around my sister.” Jon muttered, narrowly avoiding little Sam’s grasping reach for his glasses, managing to get the baby to latch onto the bottle before he destroyed any more of Jon’s eyewear. “You even sounded like her just then.”
Sam blinked for a second, his head whipping between Jon and Gilly.“You’re jealous?” He asked, incredulously. “Of Dickon? Wait- you like Sansa?”
“Got there in the end.” Gilly sighed, affectionately patting him on the shoulder before going to shower, leaving Jon and Sam behind with four cups of coffee, one baby, and approximately five brain cells total between the two of them.
“You like her.” Sam repeated, like it was a giant revelation.
“What are we- in middle school?” Jon hissed, immediately turning his head down to smile and make faces at little Sam while he fed him, before glaring up at big Sam again. “I don’t- I mean-“
Sam was just shaking his head.“Of course you do.” he laughed. “Should have guessed- red hair and a damsel in distress? You were doomed from the outset.”
“Shut up.” Jon muttered, flushing. “It’s not like that.”
“Then why are you worrying about Dickon for fu-“ Sam glanced nervously at the baby, “-god’s sake? When Gill was meeting my family for the first time, I remember you told her not to worry- that my brother was ‘one of the best guys you know’ and ‘practically a golden retriever’.”
Jon could tell that Sam, who could not raise one eyebrow without the other, was desperately trying to do just that.
“I don’t know.” He muttered, moving little Sam to his shoulder to start burping him. “Look- I’m attracted to her, alright? It’s a fu- er, a giant disaster that I’m gonna ignore for the rest of my life.”
“Seriously?”
“Stop trying to do that with your eyebrows.” Jon complained. “It’s giving me motion sickness. And yes, seriously. I’m not even going to consider that- it’s just a stupid crush. Besides,” he sighed, rubbing little Sam’s back comfortingly, “Robb’s already dealing with enough right now with this whole Sansa situation- can’t imagine telling him I think his sister’s attractive while he’s being forced to suddenly confront all of his guilt and self loathing every time he looks at her.”
“That whole bro code thing of never dating your friend’s sisters never really made sense to me.” Sam shook his head, gulping down more coffee. “I mean, I’d be thrilled if you decided to date Talla, because I know you’d be good to her.”
“Yeah, don't think she'd quite go for that, mate.” Jon snorted, standing to bounce little Sam around gently. He was just grateful Sam hadn’t said anything else about Robb.
“Eh, wouldn’t count you out completely.” Sam shrugged, smirking. “With that hair, you’re pretty enough to be a girl- maybe that’d be enough for her.”
“You are so lucky i’m holding the baby.” Jon muttered, still bouncing little Sam, who picked that moment to spit up spectacularly down Jon’s back.
“Well, that’s three of us who’re gonna need showers now.” Sam grinned, looking thrilled as all get out that it hadn’t been him. “Wow- his aim is getting better.”
“I’m going to remind him of this when he’s a sulky teenager.” Jon grumbled, wiping spit-up off his shoulder as best he could. “Look- no gossiping with Rhae about this, please. She thinks she’s such a good clandestine agent that she doesn’t always realize that Robb is better at sniffing out her plots than she thinks.”
“Alright-“ Sam sighed, looking back down at the massive stack of paperwork in front of him. “I make no promises for Gill, though.”
“Gilly could give some of my Uncle’s colleagues at the WIA a run for their money when it comes to withstanding interrogation.” Jon snorted.
“Probably true.”
“Where did your brother take Sansa?” Still holding onto a now much happier baby with one hand, he reached down the other to take a gulp of his own coffee.
“He said something about going out towards the Tyrell Estate.” Sam shrugged. “They probably drove out there to see the gardens- he’s said it’s a good road to take his bike out on.”
Jon promptly spat out his entire sip of coffee, staining the front of his shirt as well as the back, and frightening little Sam enough that he started to cry.
“He took her on his motorcycle?”
Gilly picked that moment to reappear, completely clean and with wet hair, blinking at the scene in front of her.
Sam, who couldn’t seem to stop laughing, was desperately trying to calm down the baby, who had started wailing, while Jon’s entire front was covered in coffee and his entire back was covered in baby vomit. Not that he seemed to notice, as his face was white and he was making a series of angry looking hand gestures at her husband.
“I really can’t leave you three alone for five minutes, can I?” she sighed. “Do I even want to know?”
#my writing#my wips#writing wips#just APWH things#jonsa#fanfiction wip#God bless Gilly like for real#YES Sansa is on a date with someone else here#muscleman golden retriever McAttractiveness#Aka dickon tarly#unsurprisingly jon is not having a great time about it!#in fairness to sansa the plotline directly preceding this and kicking off her doing some traveling was pretty rough on her#so our poor girl really deserves a giant muscley golden retriever with a motorcycle#and to just have a good time with someone who isn't wrapped up in all the stark drama/disaster/mess etc.#jon can deal with it rn bc it's really a 'you snooze you lose' kind of situation#sam's usually quicker on the draw but he's very sleep deprived here#and working on some stuff for a pathology conference#not at all going to be relevant nope no sir#writing sam and jon interacting vs jon and robb is so fascinating#they're both jon's besties but there's a very different dynamic to the two relationships#in fairness Robb has like SO much complex childhood trauma and is kind of seriously going through it right now#but his scenes with jon always have this sort of darker edge to them#like an 'i've known you my entire life and know everything about you for better or worse' type deal- deeper but darker#it's more akin to a sibling relationship? but also not? they are both going thru it#my headcanon is that anytime jon starts getting too gloomy and angsty gilly just straight up shoves the baby at him#and then waits like twenty minutes#Gilly: 'it's free babysitting!'#generally it works pretty well#jon's like '404 error does not compute' as soon as sam says the word 'motorcycle'#also when sam says 'the secretary' he means randyll tarly was the secretary of defense
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